Betrayal

...violation of a trust...

Another strong word that can only describe the feelings you feel when someone you have chosen to trust (with your heart, with your faith, with the understanding that you are on the same page...believe the same things, agree on a plan)...does NOT come through with their end of the bargain.

I do not place my trust lightly. This due to the depth of my loyalty to those I DO trust.
I'm an all or nothing type of person. I decide...I like you or I don't. If I do...I truly do not ask much of you. Simply that you are honest with me and give me the same degree of respect you ask for yourself. Whatever else you decide to do, or whoever you decide to be is your decision and your right. I can't say I will always agree or that I will never make judgements but I will certainly try not to if you can just do the same for me.
I have flaws...I am certainly NOT perfect nor have I ever professed to be.
I just want to love you for who you are and what you bring to my life that I didn't already have!

I have trusted and been betrayed. Many times actually and it cuts deep. Another reason I do not just throw my trust away. I hold it close to my heart and it sometimes takes time to open up to people.

I sometimes say that it is because I am anti-social which IS sometimes true but more to the point in fact is that I am painfully shy which really just boils down to my FEAR. I am afraid of everything but most of trusting and getting hurt in the end. It seems now that the more often it happens, the deeper it cuts until you are just too tired, scared and hurt to make the effort anymore. Sometimes it truly is NOT worth the pain.

That in itself is sad.